All
day we knew it was coming.
I
talked with my students about it.
None
of my students thought Chauvin was going to face justice.
He’s
gonna get off, they said.
He’s
gonna get off.
There’s
gonna be a riot.
Helicopters
whirling all day long.
Police
along the streets.
Extra
cops everywhere.
Walking down Hoyt Street past some guys on the corner, I
remember spring 1992 in Los Angeles.
We thought the video evidence against the police who beat
Rodney King was enough to put them away. I remember the feelings and the riots
that followed for days in LA.
I
remember December 2014 the night the Grand Jury decided not to charge indict Pantaleo, who killed Eric Garner.
Fury
at Union Square.
And
we marched into the night.
Uptown,
downtown, all over town.
Fighting
it back and forth.
Wondering
Hoping.
Heartbreaking.
We’ve
been disappointed so many times.
“Chauvin
Trial Live Updates: Jury Reaches a Verdict” says the Times.
They
are going to announce it at 430 says one of my students, only half paying
attention to class.
Another
says she’s not going to stay near Barclay Center, where the protests will take
place regardless of the verdict.
I
don’t have a good feeling about this, she says.
No
one does.
And
then the judge walks in.
Count 1 - guilty.
Wow.
Verdict count #2 – guilty
Verdict #3 - second degree manslaughter... guilty
Soooo relieved... wow!
Smiles, not rage in the streets.
Relief.
I can look at people without seeing the rage or the sadness
of the disbelief or resentment, at least for a night.
A few of us chat at Barbes.
Quiet.
Its good not to be doing the Sisyphus routine, another line
of demos along the way.
“the first thing we could do was breathe,” says
Adrienne Maree Brown.
“together
a
practitioner of breathlessness is guilty
(hallelujah
hallelu!)
like,
they said what we knew
(he
looked surprised too)
that
small alignment is so rare
it
lays our contradictions bare
some
hushing shout does move through the body as if (remember) we are one body but
it's
really chorus, we of so many minds”
Riding
down 6th to Atlantic,
A quiet scene at Barclay’s Center.
So many bodies, quiet, a hush.
A few screams about revolution.
Sun’s going down.
I ride home, glad the kids filmed the scene.
Glad they filmed the police.
It shouldn’t have been that close.
Shouldn’t have been a cliffhanger that a filmed murder
resulted in a guilty verdict.
Your daddy changed the world, says the president to George’s
daughter.
“Chauvin was found guilty because he had to be to preserve
the current system of policing,” says Alex Vitale. “The Dept. turned against him to save itself.”
He's still dead. Still gone.
“We take no pleasure in a man going to prison,” says Al
Sharpton.
“We would have rather George be alive.”
By
midnight, we hear gunshots in the Gowanus.
Lots
of gunshots.
And
then word of Ma’khia Bryant,
16
years old, called for help.
Police
shot her.
April
20, 2021.
She
was a kid.
Her
whole life ahead of her.
Say
her name.
I
got three and a half hours of joy and justice before another says Jay Walker.
Looking
out there.
Its
all starting again.
Sisyphus
whirling through time,
Up
that hill.
Over
and over again.
Daunte
is gone.
Ma’khia
is gone.
George
Floyd, say his name.
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